"Rooted" may be a better choice of words. What you see above is the top of an actual fence post that used to sit on my property.

The photograph above represents what I eventually came to see whenever I paid it a visit. So I brought it to life with my camera and some computer software simply as an exercise in creativity.

I can only attest for the 23 years I have lived here but local historians believe it's a good bet this post was probably placed in the ground over a hundred years ago. The general consensus is that it was set where it shouldn't of been; just outside my property line.

So last spring when the city of Alpine was reassessing it's property the location of my errant post was duly noted.

When I took down the fence [by demand] this post was so stubborn I had to pull it out with a tow chain hitched to the chassis of my truck. Apparently it was placed in the ground when it was still alive and as a result of an apparent "last gasp" effort, it sprouted roots. Seriously, a fence post with actual roots.

My wife has labeled me as a know-it-all (and as she is one herself she must certainly be correct). Know it or not it's her rhetoric reference to the the fact that my opinions are rooted in 62 years of experience. The fence post story illustrates the fact that right or wrong, in the end, even the most established and rooted of "whatever" can be dislodged with proper persuasion. So please feel free to attempt to dislodge any of my opinions that follow if deemed necessary.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

New Element Added to Periodic Table

It’s official. The heaviest, and admittedly most inexplicable element yet known to science, Gv has been added to the Periodic Table.

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 sub-neutrons (estimate), 88 nano-neutrons, and 198 idio-neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of +/- 312.

These +/- 312 particles are held together by an also newly discovered force tagged as “moronTic” and are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles referred to as aPathetic indiv-entities.

Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert; yet can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. Even trace amounts of Governmentium can delay reactions that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to ‘forever’ to complete. Contact with Governmentium has been determined to be unavoidable, thus the initial alarm was sounded in the scientific community (these people are so smart) with the connection to the formula; time = money.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years x infinity. Remarkably, it does not decay, but instead undergoes an oxymoronic process in which it decays and then replicates itself into a complex and ”chaotic” rotating cluster of nano and idio-neutrons.

Many scientists are deeply concerned. While concentrating on the integer in the equation, “chaotic,” they discovered the basic building block of Governmentium is in fact idio-neutrons or what is now commonly referred to in the scientific community as idiotrons.

Further distillation of idiotrons reveals an even more basic element, IDiot.

The fear is that the force of moronTic coupled with the element IDiot will infect humanity with an irreversible and perhaps fatal state of IDiotocrasy.

Should such an event happen, it would take you about 6 months to read this post.

- from the musings of my Uncle Lee and the scientific portion of the left side of my very small brain.

- Larry
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