"Rooted" may be a better choice of words. What you see above is the top of an actual fence post that used to sit on my property.

The photograph above represents what I eventually came to see whenever I paid it a visit. So I brought it to life with my camera and some computer software simply as an exercise in creativity.

I can only attest for the 23 years I have lived here but local historians believe it's a good bet this post was probably placed in the ground over a hundred years ago. The general consensus is that it was set where it shouldn't of been; just outside my property line.

So last spring when the city of Alpine was reassessing it's property the location of my errant post was duly noted.

When I took down the fence [by demand] this post was so stubborn I had to pull it out with a tow chain hitched to the chassis of my truck. Apparently it was placed in the ground when it was still alive and as a result of an apparent "last gasp" effort, it sprouted roots. Seriously, a fence post with actual roots.

My wife has labeled me as a know-it-all (and as she is one herself she must certainly be correct). Know it or not it's her rhetoric reference to the the fact that my opinions are rooted in 62 years of experience. The fence post story illustrates the fact that right or wrong, in the end, even the most established and rooted of "whatever" can be dislodged with proper persuasion. So please feel free to attempt to dislodge any of my opinions that follow if deemed necessary.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Big enough to fail...


...and that's exactly what I mean when I say that anyone who exceeds the maximum body weight mandated by the Fat Panels will be left to die like a beached whale by the Obamacare Health Plan. As opposed to the taxpayer financed bailouts for the banks, a lot of these so-called obese Americans will be deemed big enough to fail.

Now, while we're on the topic of too big to fail; as I am typing the text for this post my second computer monitor is streaming the signal from a local TV broadcast and I am concurrently watching a commercial, so now I'd like to say a few words about ExtenZe, the all natural male enhancement. For months now I've been watching these commercials for ExtenZe, a simple pill that can actually make men larger and increase pleasure and performance regardless of age.

ExtenZe promises to increase the size of what doctors call 'that certain part of the male body'. Please note the use of the word 'male'.

Yes, friends, we're talking about the male ego. At least I think that's what we're talking about, although my wife is standing behind me right now trying to hide what appears to be an enormous guffaw. Perhaps she's laughing because she doesn't believe that a simple pill taken twice a day could increase the size of my already more than adequate ego. This is the same woman who laughed when I said I could put together a blog that someone might actually read. Who's laughing now?

Normally, my blogging performance suffers somewhat when I let someone watch over my shoulder. Of course that's no longer a problem now that I'm taking the revolutionary all natural male enhancer ExtenZe, which guarantees that my performance is going to become even more exciting and satisfying. Although, I suppose that just applies to my perception of it. To understand what I'm feeling and to get the full measure of pleasure from that 'certain part of your own body', you guys are going to want to try ExtenZe for yourself. Sorry ladies, maybe they'll invent something for your pleasure later on.

Listen up guys, I've only been taking ExtenZe for three days, and my ego has already swollen by at least twenty-five percent. Now I really don't care about being larger, that's something I really don't need. But performing better? Now that could really be fun!

Photo and caption credit: Unknown. 51% of the text: plagiarized from Fried Green al-Qaedas. I just couldn't stop myself. Way too funny not to pass on.
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1 comment:

  1. Extenze for WomenAugust 24, 2009 at 8:15 AM

    Interesting post, Grumble Weed.

    Good luck with your ExtenZe program. We just wanted to say hello and let you know that yes, we do now have an Extenze for Women! Check it out :)

    ReplyDelete

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