"Rooted" may be a better choice of words. What you see above is the top of an actual fence post that used to sit on my property.

The photograph above represents what I eventually came to see whenever I paid it a visit. So I brought it to life with my camera and some computer software simply as an exercise in creativity.

I can only attest for the 23 years I have lived here but local historians believe it's a good bet this post was probably placed in the ground over a hundred years ago. The general consensus is that it was set where it shouldn't of been; just outside my property line.

So last spring when the city of Alpine was reassessing it's property the location of my errant post was duly noted.

When I took down the fence [by demand] this post was so stubborn I had to pull it out with a tow chain hitched to the chassis of my truck. Apparently it was placed in the ground when it was still alive and as a result of an apparent "last gasp" effort, it sprouted roots. Seriously, a fence post with actual roots.

My wife has labeled me as a know-it-all (and as she is one herself she must certainly be correct). Know it or not it's her rhetoric reference to the the fact that my opinions are rooted in 62 years of experience. The fence post story illustrates the fact that right or wrong, in the end, even the most established and rooted of "whatever" can be dislodged with proper persuasion. So please feel free to attempt to dislodge any of my opinions that follow if deemed necessary.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

  • They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
  • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Chuck Norris invented water.
  • Chuck Norris knows how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
  • Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.
  • Chuck Norris never learns. He knows.
  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  • Chuck Norris can watch "60 Minutes" in 20 seconds.
  • Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
  • When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn't just push himself up; he pushes the Earth down.
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